I am the sixth of seven children so my house was very busy from the very beginning.  You had to scream to be heard above the noise at times. What little I remember of those early years is good. My dad would take us places and play with us. My Mom was at home with us all the time. It was when I turned five and we moved across the country that things began to change. My father took on contract jobs and was not home as much. My Mom became withdrawn at times. The three oldest children left the house in pursuit of jobs and marriage. With four of us left at home and my fathers job now taking him to different locations in the country our lives became unpredictable. When you have four children at home unpredictable is not what you want in your life. It was not like in the military where there was a built in support system, my mom was on her own each time we moved. When I was between the ages of five and seven we moved about four times. I was so sick of being the new kid in school. Change can be a good thing but too much change can be so overwhelming especially to kids. My little brother would hide his shoes in hopes that we would not be able to find them before the school bus came and he would miss the bus and not have to go to school. Some how we managed to find them even though he hid them really well. We may resist change but it comes weather we are ready or not. 

Is Love enough

How many of us feel that our parents loved us when we were born did there best but we were born in to a difficult situation. I know my mom and dad love me but was their love enough to patch over all the hurt that came from them not dealing with their own issues. Never doubting you were loved does not heal the wounds from the bad decisions they made how do we heal and how do we keep from making those decisions in our lives. We need to break the cycle as adults and face our issues head on so we don't pass them down to another generation again. That is my goal anyway with this blog. To share what happened hopefully open eyes and hearts to change. My dad passed before that change could happen for him. That is the worst case scenario and the hardest edge on my hope chest.

Blank Slate


They say we all have a blank slate when we are born. We can be anything, do anything with our lives but what family you are born into determines a lot in my opinion. I was born into a family of six children with a mom who stayed home with us and a father who drank to much and worked to hard. No matter what I did I could not have overcome the events that would unfold due to the economic stress of having seven children and losing work due to drinking and womanizing that occurred in my parents marriage. The seven of us had to learn some real hard lessons and one is that you may be born a blank slate but there may already be writing on the wall when you are born saying this road is leading in a hard direction.